um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
