Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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