just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
