this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
