I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
