I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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