Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
