You really coming over, don't trick.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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