At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
That accounts for only three of the penises
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Randomize
