...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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