He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
