Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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