Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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