Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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