oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I'm both gender and math confused
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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