Will you blow on my dice?
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
