thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
