Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(510): View more from California

watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up

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(917): View more from New York City

I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.

(507): View more from Minnesota

she is a standing ovation.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.

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(315): View more from New York

Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.

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(561): View more from Florida

I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in

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(408): View more from California

worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum

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(317): View more from Indiana

Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?

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(502): View more from Kentucky

It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.

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