had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
