If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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