look no pants
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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