I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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