my soul wont recognize me after tonight
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
