this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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