I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I wannas sexs uuuuu
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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