Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize