i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
