The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
