The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
