am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I FOUND THE LEGS
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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