I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize
