4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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