yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
