you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
