I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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