Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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