Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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