so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
