u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
How many fucks given?
0.12846
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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