I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
