You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
