I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize
