We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
