Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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