TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
You dont lie about slip and slides
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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