All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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