Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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