i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
