A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Randomize
