We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
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