I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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