2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
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