Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
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