Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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