Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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