the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
