just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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