so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize