Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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