If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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