I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
