why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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