Already got asked if we're dating
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
