Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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