there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
