took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize