hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Randomize
