what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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