You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize