I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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