hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
My vagina is officially offended.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
