You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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