I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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