we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
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