Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
