THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
We need a shit load of segways right now
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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