i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
