ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I looked at my own cervix.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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