She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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