Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Blood and glitter go together right?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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