You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
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